It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Stress-mas
Renee Kuo (G11)
Why is everyone so stressed around Christmas time? We can all relate to the pressure and dread leading up to end-of-semester deadlines and assessments. As a Junior, Renee has seen how the desire for good grades seems to consume every student by the time it's Winter Break. In an effort to make Christmas 2021 less stressful and offer some perspective, she explores our definitions of success and how we could change it for the better.
Ah, winter. It’s that time of the year again. Kids huddle around the fireplace with mugs of steaming hot cocoa. School is cancelled, and snow blankets every surface of the city. Shiny boxes of presents sit under the Christmas tree, practically begging to be opened. But the cosy Christmas vibe wouldn’t be complete without some classic Christmas songs. Like Mariah Carey -
All I want for Christmas... is...
“A 7.0 GPA”
“An actual break”
“Hope”
You’re right - those aren’t the original lyrics. That’s what ISB students want for Christmas.
Winter at ISB isn’t exactly picture-perfect like the movies. Students come to school layered in their thickest sweaters, but we still manage to freeze in the first-floor classrooms. We continue to barely make deadlines and study for tests, but only now we do so in rooms with decorated doors. Our mentoring classes hold celebrations and assemblies, but all we can think about is that essay that’s due the next week. The pressure to “do well” seems to reach its peak, leaving students in a less than festive mood, to say the least.
In a (not professional) survey asking ISB students what they want for Christmas, 46% responded that they wanted to do well academically or in their extracurriculars, and 26% wanted to enjoy a stress-free vacation. Christmas is supposed to be a time for giving and receiving, being grateful, and spending time with family and friends. So why is it that so-called success seems to be all we can focus on?
As students, we typically define success as getting perfect 7s, doing as many extracurriculars as humanly possible, and being 100% certain of what you want to do in the future, all while being a good child to your parents and having an active social life with friends. It seems like success can only be achieved by staying up late to work, by sacrificing mental health and breaks, by burning out “because everyone else is doing it”. For many of us, this conventional vision of success is what we spend all our time working towards - why? Do we care about grades, or do we care about being better than everyone else? Do we actually care about helping people, or is it all “just for the college applications”? Or are we just doing these things because we believe it will make us happy in the future, even if it doesn’t now?
My point isn’t to judge anyone or undermine any dreams, nor deny the truth that our futures are dependent on what we do now. Everyone knows there is a delicate balance between doing what we want and doing what we feel like we should, and we walk that line every day. We get told to “stop being so stressed!” and “stop caring about these things so much!” but we all know that it does matter. But, without discounting reality, maybe we should redefine success. If success is meeting a set of standards, why not change what those standards are for us? A 7.0 GPA could mean success for admissions officers, but it doesn’t have to equate to that at ISB. Sure, we and the rest of the world probably won’t ever stop caring about money or respect, but if we could make an effort to broaden our definition and recognise different forms of success, maybe we would be happier.
Success doesn’t have to mean being better than everyone else - it should mean being able to be happy for yourself and everyone else.
Success doesn’t have to be about doing activities that seem impressive - it should be about being passionate about the activities you do.
Success shouldn’t be a coveted title given only to those who exceed a conventional standard - it should be something that we can recognise in everyone.
Often, what we crave is the recognition that comes with success, and we mistakenly confuse one with the other. Success culture thrives on our desire for approval by promising admiration in exchange for working towards an abstract concept that seems just within our reach. So, what if we flip that narrative and learn to recognise everyday accomplishments? By appreciating ordinary triumphs, we could learn to see our achievements more positively. I don’t believe that making success more common would detract from its meaning or lower our standards and ambitions. Rather, seeing success in everyday moments and in the people around us could motivate us to do more of what we enjoy. Then, maybe we would be able to enjoy the present without constantly thinking of the future.
With winter break coming up soon, we’ll be getting into the Christmas spirit. Teachers will play Christmas songs during class, and classmates will freeze in their ugly sweaters. At the same time, we will no doubt keep being reminded of all of our responsibilities. Ingrained beliefs and collective mentalities don’t just change overnight, but if we can be even a little bit more aware of these ideas and make even the slightest effort to change, it could be a start to creating that ideal version of ISB.
I hope that everyone will receive their version of success for Christmas.
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