Kiss, Marry, Kill: Sin, Cos, Tan
Celena Shen (G12)
Think about it for a bit, It’s an extremely important question: Which of the three trigonometry functions would you kiss, marry, or kill?
Kiss, marry, or kill?
A game that we all know a little too well... sitting on the floor with
your friends, spilling secrets, rumors, and gossip quietly, trying to muffle your laughter since it’s way past your bedtime. Often the answer to this question is followed with a series of “what??”, “no way!”, “I’m going to tell on you”. And if these secrets ever got out: oh, the tears, teenage drama, and broken hearts that would ensue (dramatized for effects). So instead of judging our fellow friends for their questionable decisions, why not judge those who have tortured us tirelessly throughout the years? The dreaded trigonometry functions. Oh yes, it’s time for sine, cosine, and tangent to be put to the test... Oh look how the turns have tabled.
And how convenient! I’ve found the Tinder profiles of the three evils! :)
Sine is a rather talkative and outgoing function, so naturally, they’ll be the first person you befriend and get to know in any group setting. They love to talk about trigonometry, starting from themselves, but spending more time extending on to the whole trigonometric family as it believes itself to be too basic; when told otherwise, they usually mention how they are always the first function taught in trigonometry and labeled as the most simple function that allows others to better understand the complex identities of the other two functions. Sine always goes straight to the point, liking things that are simple and direct. Others always think of them as the friendly but frank leaders of the pack.
Cosine likes the sound of a balanced and calm lifestyle displayed through their even graph. Their perfectly symmetrical appearance makes them unique and quirky, allowing them to stand out from crowds. They often find their inspiration from others; whether that is using the Pythagorean to derive their ‘own’ law or transforming Sine’s function to become their own function, they will always do everything and anything to find their way to the front of any point. Their guarantee for landing at their final destination shows the effort they put into satisfy their desire for attention. Their hard work lands a position in the x-axis, before the Sine value touches the x-axis, making Cosine values seem like the stiffer, but more successful and hardworking, functions out of them all.
Tangent is another function with a rather unique personality. Unlike the other two, they value independence and a unique self-identity over anything else. They are usually very quiet and only appear when they feel like they are truly needed. Their graphs are very different from both Cosine's and Sine’s. Tangent rarely work with others because, to be quite honest, their capabilities are equivalent to the combination of the two other functions, as only the work of Sine over Cosine can substitute for them. Tangent may tend to not display much affection in public, but they will take relationships very seriously, and with a y-value that extends on forever, their love for their partner truly has no limit.
So think about it for a bit, It’s an extremely important question: Which of the three trigonometry functions would you kiss, marry, or kill?
