Tiger Mom
Olivia Xiao (ISB 9)
Daughter of a “sort-of” Tiger Mom™️, Tiger Cub (?) and staff writer Olivia Xiao explores the titular maternal character that many of us are uncomfortably familiar with.
Delving deep into this commonplace phenomenon, Olivia pushes the Tiger Mom to its purest, most extreme form and highlights all of its critical flaws.
Most people, especially Asian teens, have probably heard of the term “tiger mom.” It doesn’t only apply to mothers. A tiger parent pushes their children to reach high levels of both academic and extracurricular achievement, often in not the kindest of ways. Ranging from hours upon hours of studying and practice to just a lot of yelling and lecturing, these strict parents are very hard on their children. Tiger Parenting is unhealthy because it will have negative effects on their children. These impacts include the tendency to dislike their parents and rebel more. Some will even become afraid of their parents. The child could also be influenced enough to become just as stern a parent when they reach adulthood.
(From Phys Organization)
Disliking your parents is bad enough, but in some cases, the children may even be afraid of them. At school, I always hated it when we had to get our parents to sign a test I scored poorly on because they would always sit me down at the dinner table and lecture me for hours on every little mistake I made. The clock seemed to be frozen, but I knew time still passed. The plates of leftover food mirrored the precious minutes of my life—being taken away and wasted one by one. Over the years, my parents have grown more lenient, and my scores have gotten better. However, other families are much stricter and enforce severe disciplinary measures. They might believe those punishments benefit their children, but more often than not, it just makes them fear their parents.
“Over the years, my parents have grown more lenient, and my scores have gotten better.”
Strict parents may also prevent their children from enjoying hobbies. If a parent is frequently yelling at their child to go practice the piano, they will associate the instrument with their parent’s anger and begin to resent it. Letting the child choose their hobby would make them much happier, maybe with a few words of encouragement if they ever wish to quit.
Teenagers with strict parents tend to rebel more. An example listed by AhaParenting.com is “[teens] may harshly starve [themselves] with a new diet and then rebel by binging.” It is an extreme instance, but many strict parents take things to the extreme. Additionally, the website further stated, “studies show that kids raised with strict parenting are more likely to become overweight.” Strict parents usually have a lot of rules: early curfew, no hanging out with friends, etc. A few of them make sense, but others are too restrictive. Some teenagers are already rebellious enough; they will only act out more with these overly strict rules. If they are not allowed to see their friends, for example, they may attempt to sneak out at night. That could put them in a potentially dangerous situation.
“Strict parents usually have a lot of rules: early curfew, no hanging out with friends, etc.”
Additionally, children with strict parents will also hide more thoughts from them. A parent should be a safe person to talk to. Overly firm parents commonly turn every little thing into a lecture. If the child feels like they’re walking into the tiger’s den every time they do something wrong, they will consequentially begin to talk to their parent less and less, weakening the important parent-child bond.
“…the child feels like they’re walking into the tiger’s den every time they do something wrong…”
A child with strict parents will most likely become just like their parents when they grow up. Subjected to a childhood of forced practicing and lecturing, that is the only way they know how to parent. As they reach adulthood, they may be just as strict and firm to their children, who will do the same to their children, and the same to theirs after that, creating an endless generation of yelling parents and scared children.
Of course, strict parents’ behavior is understandable. The very colloquialism “Tiger Mom” is incorrect, as strict parenting is not limited to only mothers. It has become a stereotype over the years, but there are Tiger Dads as well. There are many reasons for Tiger Parents to act that way, and most commonly, it is because they want their children to become successful. Maybe they grew up in a poor place, so they want their children to study hard, get good grades, be accepted into a quality college and get a well-paying job. Tiger parents give such tough love because they want their next generation to be better than they were. But as good as their intentions may be, they need to be aware of the negative effect such strict behavior has on their children. Their firmness may cause their children to dislike or even fear them, rebel, or hide more things from their parents. Their hobbies could become burdens or duties, and they may grow up to be just as mean as their parents. Tiger Parents raise Tiger Children, but not before hurting them first.
Citations:
“What's Wrong with Strict Parenting?” Aha! Parenting, www.ahaparenting.com/parenting-tools/positive-discipline/strict-parenting.
Image Cited: “Hold on, Tiger Mom: Research Refutes the Idea That the Traditional, Strict 'Chinese' Upbringing Is Superior.” Phys.org, Phys.org, 22 Sept. 2014, phys.org/news/2014-09-tiger-mom-refutes-idea-traditional.html.