Breaking Up on Valentine’s Day?
Amy Kim (ISB G11)
Amy is not only a Buddy! staff writer, but also an psychology enthusiast who enjoys looking deeper into how society during a holiday can psychologically result in breakups.
Amy dives deeper into why couples break up on around Valentine’s day and how you can survive if it ever happens to you.
“On Valentine’s Day they scraped 10,000 Facebook status updates looking for words ‘break-up’ or ‘broken-up”
(Courtesy of pinimg)
Have you ever ended a relationship or seen one end at any of the following times - shortly before Valentine’s Day, on Valentine’s Day, or shortly after Valentine’s Day? If so, why?
In the weeks leading up to February 14th, as well as weeks after, numbers of social media statuses will start to show couples breaking up. Valentine’s Day is normally a time when couples plan for a romantic evening and buy each other sweet gifts, which makes the sad fact ironic. Well, why does this particular part of the year trigger many couples to break up?
The pressure of expectations:
Valentine’s Day is marketed as a gift-exchanging day with your loved ones. However, a lot of couples have expectations on what gift they will receive from their partners. Such as the amount of dollars attached to the gift, its meaning, type etc. This indicates how it requires quite a lot of care and attention during that particular time period since the expectations may create unrealistic hopes of where people think their relationships stand at a certain point. This all would result in undue pressure and sometimes even breaking up.
Social media comparisons:
In the social media world, people share their experiences from what they are eating, where they travel, friendship, and even what they received as gifts from their partners. However, these displays of life are unfortunately mostly exaggerated and unrealistic of what their everyday life is comprised of. They fail to show the heartbreak and failures, along with the reality of what their life is really about. Hence, psychologically speaking, what people see happening in their friends’ lives on social media makes them unfulfilled and demand their partners to live up to their perceptions of others. The resentment will eventually destroy the relationship.
(Courtesy of Dribble)
The relationship is already in crisis:
If people had a struggling relationship before Valentine’s Day, it may crumble under the stress and demands of this holiday. One partner may put so much effort into making up for the state of their relationship, while the other may not appreciate it. Moreover, if someone yearns for something from his or her partner on Valentine’s Day and do not get it, the relationship may reach the breaking point.
People start to evaluate their relationships during Valentine’s Day:
As Valentine’s Day approaches, people spend time thinking over their relationships with their partner and reflect on how it works for them. If there were several problems before the Valentine’s season, it might be difficult for them to plan a night out together and express their love since they will put attention on how they feel rather than what their partners feel. This may lead to a discord, and also might end up with separation.
(Courtesy of Freepik)
How to survive Valentine’s Day after the breakup:
(Courtesy of istockphoto)
Make a self-care date! Why not going to your favorite mall or your favorite salon for joy and relaxation? Do whatever makes you feel good and connected to “yourself.” Also, watching some movies featuring your celebrity crush is also a good idea.
Stay away from technology! Be calm and focused on things that are more important to your well-being rather than watching the happy couple photos posted all around Instagram and Facebook.
Get together with your best friends! This is a time when your friends will be the best thing for you. Do some stuff as a group you haven’t been able to when you were in a relationship. You can visit the cinema, have a delicious meal, play a game etc. Moreover, your friends most likely knew how the relationship was, so they might have the power to support you during your hard times.
Remind yourself that February 14th is only one day. It is only 24 hours, so do not stress so much! No matter how gloomy the sky seems during that day, it will clear up soon and you’ll feel way better (just after 24 hours).
Conclusion
: Overall, it is quite ironic that couples do tend to break up during Valentine’s Day season despite the fact that it is a romantic occasion where they exchange love and gifts. Try not to fall into the conditions above and I hope you maintain a healthy relationship with your beloved one.
For singles, don’t forget that it is better to be single than being in a wrong relationship and I hope you all have a great Valentine’s Day!
Citations:
https://www.freepik.com/free-vector/couple-crying-due-broken-heart-illustration_3226230.htm
https://dribbble.com/shots/5089720-Social-media-pack-illustration?utm_source=Pinterest_Shot&utm_campaign=mr_pixels&utm_content=Social+media+pack+illustration&utm_medium=Social_Share
https://i.pinimg.com/originals/11/c1/24/11c124d6e4e2964f78ee886905b12ea4.png
AmyK