Episode 1: Just Shush…
Emily Chang (G11)
Hihi :-) I’m Emily, a junior here at ISB. At any given time of the day, you can find me eating, sleeping, binge-watching all types of dramas, procrastinating over large piles of homework, or being overdramatic about insignificant drama. Very, very insignificant drama. And because I’m overdramatic so often, please enjoy one of my many, many dramatic episodes.
Just Shush...
It was the last day of school, all the filler classes, assemblies, and class parties have ended. My best friends and I decided to celebrate the end of the school year by treating ourselves with Hotpot. The atmosphere was filled with joy as we went towards the Hotpot restaurant in a combination of skipping, running, and speed walking. Our faces beamed with excitement, and eyes twinkled with glee. We were led to a table in an open area. The table was packed with plates of desserts, stacks of meat, bowls of veggies, and cups of juice in no time. The Hotpot in the center of the table was bubbling with delight and so was I. The sweet and rich aromas of tomato soup and Sukiyaki soup (don’t worry they were not mixed together) wrapped around me like a thick and fluffy winter blanket during a stormy night. This was everything I longed for months. No homework, no deadlines, no tests. Nothing but Hotpot and one of my favorite groups of people on Earth. We then gorged ourselves to the point where I felt like a woman in her third trimester internally debating whether to name my son Alex or Jack.
While chitchatting about our classmates and friends, we somehow began to talk about a student who I particularly disapproved of. I did a horrible job on repressing my feelings and accidentally and explicitly trash-talked them (It’s VERY dumb of me now that I think about my behavior, so DO NOT do this. Learn from my lesson everyone!).
That’s when I heard a titter and someone’s lighthearted voice saying “Hey” behind me. ‘Who’s that’, I thought. I turned around and a weird and overwhelming sense of familiarity flooded towards me as I saw a teenage boy’s face. His facial expression made me feel like he was going to prank us, like a six-year-old who proudly stirred some sort of trouble for their parents. He looked older than us and athletic, like the typical guy that you’d see on some varsity sports team. I’ve definitely seen him before but who was he? I looked at my friends, and they looked as confused as well. “Which school are you guys from?” he asked. Our table went silent. The question was not a good sign. “ISB,” one of my friends said emotionlessly.
‘Oh my gosh, why did she tell him???’ I could feel sweat emanatas appearing on the top of my head. I was sitting in my seat, staring into space when I unexpectedly thought of who he was. “Let’s go,” I said while we were in the middle of eating. I knew that we didn’t have anywhere to go, but I desperately wanted and needed to escape. I still remember that feeling to this day. Me, a rat running around the house has been spotted by the family’s cat. Yes, the boy in the Hotpot restaurant is the other person’s brother. And yes, the other person is the one that I was being rude to. A whole bunch of overdramatic thoughts gushed into my mind. My life in the coming school year would be gloomy and achromatic. I’d probably be bullied in every possible way and they’re going to eat me alive and then spit my bones out. I didn’t even know how those parts were going to work out and simply expected them to happen.
We got out of the restaurant and started to walk around the plaza. I constantly (and annoyingly) asked my friends whether they’d think the boy would tell his sibling. I don’t even remember what they responded though I suspect that it’s a mixture between “I don’t know” and “don’t worry he’ll probably forget about it.” Whether or not he forgot about this incident, I sure did. As time elapsed during summer vacation, traveling, painting, relaxing, and simply fooling around with my brother let this memory slip away.
Yet, just like how forgotten thoughts squeeze their way back into our minds, I remembered the accident instantly when I saw an athletic looking high schooler on the first day of school.
o my surprise, that first day passed by just like every other school day. I didn’t see any of them at school that week which made me suspect that they’ve left ISB already. My guess was confirmed when I overheard a conversation regarding their transfer. Phew. This incident made me realize that often times we’d scare ourselves, expecting the worse to happen in every situation when reality is not even half as bad as you think.
Two years later, as someone who just started the IB, I’m once again cracking into bits and pieces (in case if you’re wondering why it has to do with endless paper 1s, econ tests, chem labs, and history readings). This time, I found myself getting haunted by homework, assessments, and just the craving for good grades. If I didn’t do well on some tests, I would start imagining myself packing bags to a community college. If I see one person getting better grades than I did, I would start believing that I’m the worst in the class. If I don’t see 6 or 7s pop up on PowerSchool, I would have multiple breakdowns. Even now, I still can’t stop overthinking and stressing about basically everything in my life. But, somewhere deep inside I know that it will be ok because, at the end of the day, everything will always be better than what we expect it to be. If life doesn’t go in the right direction, huddle around a big full-filling Hotpot meal with friends and the worries will slip through your fingertips.
P. S.: Just shush and don’t talk about other people in public (or you’ll end up like me 😦 )!
